To Heaven and Back
​
Clouds like an expanding sea
A grand place just for me
Soothing light from all around
The peaceful place above the ground
Yellows and pinks color the clouds at my feet
There's a man dressed in a white sheet
Rainbows dance across his clothes
Silently he listens to all my woes
He rests a hand on my shoulder and says"Take Heart"
For he Knows the pain is about to start
So I look the Son of God in the face
Then fall into his sweet embrace
Darkness takes over the room
It's all over I assume
Heavenly forms beckon'
It's all over I reckon'
A burst of light
I'm full of fright
It is then I awaken from my sleep
Though I never make a peep
About my journey to heaven
​
2013
2014
Resilience
Out of the ashes a phoenix flies
Flaming wings oh so mighty kiss the skies
She told me not to worry about my past
Because that old nightmare didn't last
She taught me how to change my day
I just close my eyes so I can pray
The flames of her wings create a spark
I no longer have to live in the dark
I'm rising from the ashes like my phoenix friend
the bad things like the good have to end
I follow her song like I follow my dreams
To that beautiful place bathed in the sun's beams
Like a Phoenix I will rise
Out of the ashes as my old life dies
Finally Me
Everyone said it was wrong
Even if it felt right
Everyone said to be strong
To resist and to fight
I decided to go my own way
Iknew I would be accepted someday
And now I am me
Finally
I came out of my hiding place
Now all can see my true face
The weight is lifted I am free
I am who I am meant to be
The lies are gone without a trace
In being myself I found God's grace
2016
Having a Brain Injury
Having a brain injury is strange
I woke up with a brain that is not mine
The doctors did all they could
Everyone says it’s been so long you’re fine
I’m not reacting like I should
I have a life that I must rearrange
Having a brain injury is wrong
My friends ask why I go to bed so early
I just get so tired That I can’t operate
You can accept me as I am surely
If you care about me why show such hate
Everyone says that I need to be strong
Having a brain injury is hard
It makes me uncomfortable when you ask me why I don’t drink
And when strangers ask me what’s wrong with my leg
I constantly feel like I’m on the brink
Just let me live my life I beg
I feel like I’m always on guard
Having a brain injury is powerful
I’ve learned so much
I’m more understanding
I have deeper feelings and such
I’m much less demanding
My world is more colorful
What was once bad can change
2019
2019
Standing Out
Out like a woodpecker on a flock of doves
Or like a wasp in a swarm of lady bugs
I stand out
I stand out
All my life I’ve tried to blend in
No matter where I go or have been
Still I stand out
I stand out
I’ve even tried to change
Tried to appear less strange
Yet I stand out
I stand out
But like a drop of red paint on white
Or the sun interrupting the night
I stand out
I stand out
This is exhausting
The energy it’s costing
I stand out I stand out
I don’t want to stand out anymore
I cry as I sink to the floor
Why do I still stand out
Lonely
I’m lonely
The one and only
They they everything is going to be okay
But they always forget to stay
I’m lonely
Sinking slowly
I need someone
But they always run
I’m lonely
Almost lowly
It’s hard to cope
I’ve lost all hope
I’m just lonely
Treated coldly
I’ve prayed for someone to stay with me
Eventually they always want to break free
I’m lonely
It’s not cozy
2019
2019
My scars make me beautiful
My scars make me beautiful
I believe that it’s true
I will not hide them
Or keep them unseen
Because then others will have no clue
My scars show I am strong
While others might say i am wrong
My scars make me beautiful
I remember when I’m feeling blue
Some can’t see I’m a gem
They just don’t know where I’ve been
Healing takes pretty long
But I just moved along
My scars make me beautiful
My anxiety monster
My anxiety monster never leaves me alone
Not when I’m out
Not when I’m on my own
When I go for a walk he tells me I’ll fall
While I’m driving he says I’m gonna crash
He says my friends must hate me when they don’t answer the phone
“They hate you” he says with a shout
“they don’t like you at all”
“you’re like a rash”
This is all I have ever known
I don’t know if I can handle another bout
I’ve hit a wall
Yet it’s started again when the sun first shone
2019
2019
I am a diamond
I am a diamond
strong as can be
Try as you might
you can’t crush me
I am a diamond
Lying in the rough
Unique and strong
Incredibly tough
I am a diamond
Sparkling beautifully
Ready to fight
But a blessing to see
I am a diamond
Impossible to scuff
You know I’m not wrong
You’ve seen enough
Nothing Personal
“It’s nothing personal”
That’s what you said
Too bad “nothing personal” sounds pretty personal in my head
I thought you were my friend
I guess I was wrong
It’s “nothing personal”
But my eyes are turning red
I hear my heart breaking in the silence
With every step I tread
I wish it could end
I’m trying to stay strong
If it’s “nothing personal”
Then why have you fled?
Why does this feel like violence?
I’m just hanging by a thread
I’ll never break but I’ll still bend
Never thought it would be like this for so long
It’s “nothing personal”
Was one of the lies you fed
Seems like your lying was more than just a trend
I feel kind of strung along
It’s “nothing personal”
But I’m crying in my bed
Trying to find balance
And I hear you laughing instead
You turned away the hand I tried to lend
And so I wrote this song
Because it’s pretty personal